2016 felt like ripping off a giant, stinking bandage and exposing the raw, festering wound that lies underneath. Now we are all just gathered around, aghast, mouths gaping, wondering what the fuck to do and how could this be. When the air hits, it burns. When the ugly and shocking truth arrives into the light … Continue reading The year of Light.
A mantra I've embraced this year and repeat to my son all the time, "The world is full of magic, medicine and miracles. Every day is a new adventure." Its been a rough few weeks....months? I'll be frank, its been a real rough year. For a lot of people, not just me. But the last few weeks really … Continue reading The world is FULL.
As newly expecting parents, we all want to be prepared. We do the research, we get advice, we stock up on supplies and books. But even the most prepared mother can get completely blindsided by the isolation that can come with early motherhood. First time mamas-to-be often want to know, what are the most important items necessities for a new baby? My answer is: find your tribe. Start identifying your support people, find a mom group in your area, start connecting with other moms who are a little further ahead of you. The kind you can text when you're in the throes. The kind that will come over and hang out with your kid while you take the first shower you’ve had in a week. The kind you can laugh with over your fumbles and bring levity to long days and send courage to see you through long nights. The kind you can talk about the hard stuff. Everything else you’ll gather along the way. Motherhood is an experience as unique as each of our babies. But we are stronger when we remember that there are other moms out there too, elbow-deep in the work of mothering and that we have each other's back. For better or worse, we are moms. And we are all in this together.
I am completely alone in my house for the next four days. Well, there is a dog and a cat here but for the next 96 hours there are no other beings in this household that require my attention. I haven't been alone in my house for this length of time in over four years. … Continue reading On parenting in the dark.
I am tired of people treating feminine rage like some sort of radical phase in the post-adolescent female, burning off as she matures and softens into society. Feminine anger, the most unattractive of traits, is a buzz-kill. It’s sophomoric and worn-out. It’s a bit too touchy. The post-1970’s white feminist may have poured over the … Continue reading The Feminine Mystique: An Addendum
1 in 7 mothers in the US today report experiencing postpartum depression or anxiety. Among lower socio-economic groups, the numbers jump to 1 in 4 women. It takes many forms. It may not look what a woman or her family thinks depression or anxiety look like. You cannot always tell a mom has postpartum depression just by looking … Continue reading 1 in 7
Today at our weekly mom support group we made Mother's Day cards for ourselves. I decorated mine but I could not think of what I wanted to write as I was sitting there. It has been a tough couple of months. For the moment I am parenting predominantly alone and struggling with the implications of what … Continue reading You are amazing, Mom.
Karen Maezen Miller is a Zen priest and author of Momma Zen: Walking the Crooked Path of Motherhood, Hand Wash Cold and Paradise in Plain Sight. I have written before about her profound book, Momma Zen, and how it inspired me more than any other parenting text I have ever come across. And this interview by … Continue reading The education of a lifetime: Karen Maezen Miller on Motherhood, Meditation and Anger
I have been pretty unsentimental, I guess, about a lot of the milestones so far in my son's almost-three years of life. I don't necessarily feel the pang of being needed less as time goes on, certainly not in the way that maybe the mother of multiples does watching her last baby graduate from infancy … Continue reading And then suddenly, he was a boy.
"Time is the substance from which I am made. Time is a river which carries me along, but I am the river; it is a tiger that devours me, but I am the tiger; it is a fire that consumes me, but I am the fire." ~ Jorge Luis Borges The modern Gregorian calendar recognizes … Continue reading Ritual for New Beginnings